Friday, July 18, 2014

Swooned... Again

Have I blogged about him? Nope, I haven’t.

I’ve fangirl-ed a lot growing up. I used to adore Jesse McCartney, talk day and night about Tom Felton, and swoon over Raymond Lam. I’ve had celebrity crushes just like every other girl out there, but those days should be behind me. After all, I’m an adult now… I shouldn’t have celebrity crushes, it’s such a high school thing to do. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help it.

After Raymond Lam disappeared from the TVB scene, I had no one else to fangirl over. And I was happy, because I didn’t have to waste time dreaming of the day I would actually meet him. But then I stumbled upon a Korean drama called Emergency Couple and by the end of it… I knew I was done for.

All his pictures look so freaking good,
I struggled picking the best.

Choi Jin-Hyuk has stolen my heart. Raymond Lam gave it back and now Jin-Hyuk Ssi has taken it. Give it back to me, you ultra hot man!

It’s not his fault, really. It’s mine. I have no idea why, but I smile every time I see him in a drama. It’s like… I’m watching a boy I have a crush on in high school in a stalker-ish kind of a way. It’s scary! What am I becoming?

This is pretty much a confession that I have a high school celebrity crush on Choi Jin-Hyuk. I’ve watched all his dramas, except for My Daughter The Flower because I could not find one with English subs, Gu Family Book (which technically I did watch it, but only the episodes he was in. I know, it’s weird) and I Need Romance. I’m now watching Fated To Love You and I adore that drama so much. He looks so fine in it, and the story is rather humorous.

If I ever see him one day, I don’t know how I would react. I won’t scream, cause I’m not that kind of a fangirl, but I would surely turn red. Saying this, I wish I did not have a celebrity crush on him. Can’t he just be a favourite like Leo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp? Nope, apparently not at this moment.

Honestly, I wish I am more ‘adult’ about this. I hope this blows over soon… which probably will once he goes off to serve in the military. That’s both a good news and a bad news for me.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Survival Plan vs God's Plan

The past weekend was a ‘questionable’ one. It was a weekend where I reflected where I am in life, the small changes that I’m facing (losing a stable freelance job), and the question of how to move forward. It was also a weekend where my mum advised that I should not stay in the same company for too long and find a better place to go to, which is what everyone should do anyway. But while thinking it through, I became a little afraid, unsure, and muddled.

So, I decided to sit down and have a talk with God.

The conversation started with me saying “I don’t know” so many times, because I didn’t know if moving on is a good idea in terms of where I want to go in life. I was worried I would have to give up my dream along the way, and I didn’t know what to do. It all started with a bunch of ‘I don’t knows’ but the conversation ended with clarity.

Funny, how a conversation with God can really bring you peace and clarity. I didn’t know how long I was talking to Him, but I knew I slept rather late last night. AND I slept with a smile. He realigned my path to His and now I know what to do. Here's what I know:

My day job is merely a survival plan. It is stagnant with no growth because survival plans, once established, do not require any more tinkering with. I should not be spending my time and my thoughts worrying about this survival plan because God has it covered. Should I move forward and find another job? God will take care of that. Should I try to get another freelancing job? God will take care of that. This survival plan should be left to God to handle, after all, He will provide for my needs.

The plan that I should be focused on is God’s plan… the one where I continue to write for him. Writing novels, short stories, and running my blog are part of God’s plan. Yes, God’s plan is unpredictable and I have no control over what happens, but it is God’s plan. It may be odd to some that I have decided to focus my energy and time on God’s plan where the journey is uncertain, but it is what I am supposed to do.

The only reason why I have the ability to write is because God gave me that ability. Even if I don’t meet success immediately, I will trust that God knows best. So if anyone asks why I write fiction and keep my blog going, my answer is simple, “I'm writing for God.”

At the end of the day, I want to store up treasures in heaven. My survival plan is merely a plan to store up treasures on earth that will cease to exist once I die. The treasures in heaven however, will last forever. The day I meet God, I want Him to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” because that will mean I lived a life to the fullest of its purpose.