... what are they?
Throughout my life, especially in school, I've learnt a lot about friends.
I used to have best friends, and those were the ones I would speak on the phone with every night, even after seeing them in school; they were the ones I would exchange private letters with secrets; and those 'best friends' were people I thought I could count on.
I decided not to have best friends anymore, but good friends instead.
Why? Well, 'best friend' is a term with too much privileges, and after all the experiences, I can't really trust someone with every single thing.
Nope, that is too risky. I've learned that since primary school, secondary school and even in university.
Let me share some of the experiences.
I had a friend in primary school I used to call a best friend. Little did I know, she was just fooling me all along. She would make trades with me, just so she can get the better item. She convinced me to trade a black shaker mechanical pencil I found, with a notebook she already used. Let me just say, those shaker pencils were an in thing back then, and I did not have one.
She also told me that she was getting published, and that our make believe stories will be in our book! Wow! I fell for that, but I was 9 I think, so I was pretty naive and innocent; gullible too.
In secondary school, I had a best friend who I confided in with all my secrets, including who I like. One day, I asked her to do me a favor by calling the guy I like, and convince him that he should take me to his school's prom (he came from an international school). Little did I know, she ended up calling him more than once behind my back, and he ended up inviting her to his school's prom.
That was an epic betrayal. I cried in front of her but she laughed me off and said I was stupid.
Seriously.. real story right here.
After that, I decided to move on and just stay friends with her, removing her best friend privileges. She ended up dating the guy and people in school were talking about how cute he was and all that. I forgave her in the end though, cause there was no point hating her.
In uni, I've met different kinds of friends. By then, I stopped having best friends, but good friends instead. Each friend had a different level of privilege, and they are all important to me.
But the saddest part is, during this period in life, I realized that not everyone you view as important, will view you important to them. Yup, that's a fact.
I realized that there is no point looking out for someone who does not even show a slight hint of gratitude. There was also no point in trying too hard when the other person does not even lift a finger to keep the friendship going. That was when I learned to let people go.
But despite all that, I still have some good friends I can count on. I have good friends from childhood, good friends from high school, and good friends from different walks of life. No, we are not BFFs but I know I can count on them when I need them. I know they will be there when I call. So what if someone doesn't pick up the phone, at least I know then who is my true friend.
On top of that, I have God. Who is the bestest friend anyone can have, so, there's no need to complain when people shut me out, because I know God wouldn't do that to me.
At the end of the day, I thank God for the ones in my life that matter, and I thank God for being the friend I never had. Inevitably, life is about people and people tend to disappoint; it is then that you choose who you would fight for, when you will let go, and who will stay by your side till the very end.