True Friends...

... what are they?

Throughout my life, especially in school, I've learnt a lot about friends. 

I used to have best friends, and those were the ones I would speak on the phone with every night, even after seeing them in school; they were the ones I would exchange private letters with secrets; and those 'best friends' were people I thought I could count on. 

Until.....

I decided not to have best friends anymore, but good friends instead. 

Why? Well, 'best friend' is a term with too much privileges, and after all the experiences, I can't really trust someone with every single thing. 

Nope, that is too risky. I've learned that since primary school, secondary school and even in university. 

Let me share some of the experiences.

I had a friend in primary school I used to call a best friend. Little did I know, she was just fooling me all along. She would make trades with me, just so she can get the better item. She convinced me to trade a black shaker mechanical pencil I found, with a notebook she already used. Let me just say, those shaker pencils were an in thing back then, and I did not have one. 

She also told me that she was getting published, and that our make believe stories will be in our book! Wow! I fell for that, but I was 9 I think, so I was pretty naive and innocent; gullible too.

In secondary school, I had a best friend who I confided in with all my secrets, including who I like. One day, I asked her to do me a favor by calling the guy I like, and convince him that he should take me to his school's prom (he came from an international school). Little did I know, she ended up calling him more than once behind my back, and  he ended up inviting her to his school's prom. 

That was an epic betrayal. I cried in front of her but she laughed me off and said I was stupid. 

Seriously.. real story right here. 

After that, I decided to move on and just stay friends with her, removing her best friend privileges. She ended up dating the guy and people in school were talking about how cute he was and all that. I forgave her in the end though, cause there was no point hating her.

In uni, I've met different kinds of friends. By then, I stopped having best friends, but good friends instead. Each friend had a different level of privilege, and they are all important to me. 

But the saddest part is, during this period in life, I realized that not everyone you view as important, will view you important to them. Yup, that's a fact.

I realized that there is no point looking out for someone who does not even show a slight hint of gratitude. There was also no point in trying too hard when the other person does not even lift a finger to keep the friendship going. That was when I learned to let people go. 

But despite all that, I still have some good friends I can count on. I have good friends from childhood, good friends from high school, and good friends from different walks of life. No, we are not BFFs but I know I can count on them when I need them. I know they will be there when I call. So what if someone doesn't pick up the phone, at least I know then who is my true friend.

On top of that, I have God. Who is the bestest friend anyone can have, so, there's no need to complain when people shut me out, because I know God wouldn't do that to me.

At the end of the day, I thank God for the ones in my life that matter, and I thank God for being the friend I never had. Inevitably, life is about people and people tend to disappoint; it is then that you choose who you would fight for, when you will let go, and who will stay by your side till the very end.

The Unwrapped Gift

Who gets a gift and chooses not to unwrap it?

Worse still, who gets a gift, which is useful and one of a kind, but chooses not to use it?

I've known people who have talents in different areas, but instead of honing their giftings, they choose to do something else.

Personally, that is such a waste. 

I would love to be able to draw, paint, sing and compose music, but I don't have talent in those areas. And when I see people who do, I admire their talent. 

Unfortunately, I've also seen people who have those talents, but decides that they aren't important, and those gifts can be pushed aside. 

It kinda irks me to see something so good just left to collect dust.

But who am I to tell them that they should pay more attention to that special gift? It is not my life after all. 

I just can't help but feel that the lack of attention towards something so unique and special is just a waste!

So, if you are reading this and you can draw, paint, sing, compose music, write or do anything else that makes you unique among the people you know, please please don't let your talent go to waste. 

God gave you a gift, use it to its fullest potential. You never know what greater things your talent can give you.

And then there was jealousy...

... envy, and wonder.

Recently, I've noticed this particular blogger, who 'liked' most of the posts of others blog which I would comment on. 

Curious on who he was, I visited his blog. And lo and behold, he has over 17,000 subscribers! He has also self published quite a number of his books. 

I have to admit, I was... jealous and envious. I believe he's even the same age as I am, and he seems to be pretty successful already. Seeing him, with that many facebook likes and fans, I couldn't help but compare. 

There is him, and then there's me, who self published one book, and is barely getting anywhere as a writer to date. 

If you were me, I bet you would feel the same way. And you would start to wonder, why am I not like him?  

But then I recalled something that was once mentioned by Ps. Neli Atiga. He mentioned that we were born in this time for a reason. And in God's own timing, we will experience the plans He has for us in our lives.

So... maybe I'm not meant to be anybody now. But I'm sure God has the right time to help me achieve my dreams. After all, He did say I was to write for him, and I don't think He would go back on his words. 

Whoever I become, whether big or small, God's plans are always perfect. 

Though I may be small now, but God is still faithful.

And just recently, God gave me the chance to feel how it was like to have people eager to read my stories. Those one or two people who I do not know, constantly came back to my blog and made time every week to read and leave comments. To me, that was enough. The faithful few supporters beats any number. 

He made me see that number of fans and subscribers are not as important as the few who were giving their time and support to someone they do not even know personally. That makes me want to write even more, because, at the end of the day, I write for my readers more than I will ever write for myself.

Honestly, I do not know if I will ever be big one day, I don't even know what my life will be next year, after I graduate, but I know that all I want to do in life is write. God knows that, and I hope to be on the same page as Him. 

Somehow, to most people I know...

.... seeing me in a dress is like seeing snow for the first time.

The response I get every time will be, "You're wearing a dress!"

Well, it is true that I don't wear dresses often, and only dress up for dinners and events, but them saying that makes me feel even..... shy-er?

Come on, I do wear dresses, just not frequently. I is shy when you point it out *blushes*

Because of those reactions, I do not dare to wear dresses on normal days, even to school or to church. I'm afraid that people will keep pointing it out and I would have no place to hide my face. LOL!

Anyways, the picture is me in a dress. Duh. I actually had a slytherin scarf with me, but I only took it out when it got cold in the hall. Oh, and the necklace that I wore was the Mockingjay necklace. Sighs, I'm such a geek.

I actually came back from that fund raising dinner an hour ago but I barely took any pictures.  This one was taken from my mom's phone, and it was just supposed to be the two of us, but my dad decided to photo-bomb the picture anyways.

That is also a new haircut btw :) For once, I actually like it.

Why you do what you do?

That's a question we sometimes cannot answer, even to ourselves.

Between asking myself that, I also ask others. Others whose decisions affect me. Most of the time, they are just internal questions, sometimes I just voice it out. One time, I didn't get an answer.

What do you do when you don't get an answer? From yourself or from others?

If I don't get an answer from myself, I reevaluate my choices and decisions. If I don't get an answer from others, I reevaluate our relationship.

Life is full of decisions and evaluations. One cannot escape that. At the end of the day, what you do will reflect on who you are. Hopefully, there would be more good decisions than bad in everyone's lifetime.

Now, I shall leave you with a joke, which may or may not have any relevance to my blog post. Why? Because Christmas is coming and it doesn't snow in Malaysia.

I know who Slenderman is....

Page 403 in A Clash of Kings:

"I will be heard." A slender man all in black pushed his way between the Redwyne twins.

"Ser Alliser!" Tyrion exclaimed.


I was as shock as Tyrion when I found out.
Now that the mystery is solved, lets move on from this slender craze.

They are back...

... the TV series that I follow.

Here's the list:
- Once Upon a Time
- Grimm
- Vampire Diaries
- 90210
- Family Guy
- Downton Abbey
- Glee
- The Walking Dead
- Pretty Little Liars (Aired during Summer)
- Game of Thrones (Aired during Summer)

New ones I'm following:
- Revolution (Pretty o.k. Not really something I look forward to every week.)
- 666 Park Avenue (Just watched this one today and it seems pretty interesting.)

That's a lot. But not a lot when compared to my friend who has a total of 24 on his list. I wish him the best of luck in watching ALL of them in a week.

Personally, I never go above 10, and since two in my list are Summer series', I've reached my maximum number of TV series a week.

90210, Vamp Diaries and the Walking Dead are still on break, but I'm pretty sure they will be out soon.

I hope it doesn't become too stressful trying to remember to download them all.