Growing Up.... Sucks.

I believe some of you would be able to relate to the above title. I for one, realized that stepping into the working world is not easy. It's definitely a big shift from university life, where the pressure only laid in assignments and exams. 

Since I started work in March, I had little sleep (treasuring my weekends because I need not have to wake up till my body wanted to) and my imagination was blinking red. As a self published author hoping to make authoring my career, lack of imagination is terrifying. 

On top of that, I was faced with a challenge at work that caused me to lose a grip on my emotions. When I realized that my behavior was reeling out of my norm, I decided to take a few steps back.

I remember asking God to only open one door when it came to getting a job. I told Him he could pick, that way it was easier for us all. He did open one door that led me to my current job. But after working for a few weeks, someone new entered the office and totally pushed my limits. I could not take it anymore, so I asked God to help me. He did once again... and got me a job somewhere else that not only matched up with my current job offer but also something more suited towards me.

Sometimes I wonder why God put someone so annoying in my life, but deep down I know it's a test; a test I failed. But God is good... and He's not the kind to let you suffer. He always think in advance and helps you by giving you a better alternative. 

See, God doesn't just throws you a float when you're drowning, He throws you a boat with food and water. That's the way He works!

Yes, growing up sucks. I have more responsibilities, I'll meet more challenging people, and I'll sometimes be drained of my own talents and skills... but I must remember that God is always with me. No matter how much it sucks, I'm not alone!

This years has not been short of God's guidance and presence in my life. I'll definitely have to blog everything God has done so I will not forget His faithfulness. Let this blog be a reminder to me that God is good... all the time!

Raindrops

Fancy banner? What, did you just say you like it? Aww, thank you!

Ok, so now that that shameless self pat on the back is over, I'm going right to the reason of this post.

If you have come from my writer's blog, you're probably wondering what this is all about. I actually have a post waiting to be published on my writer's blog about this, but I would only do it when the voting is up. What voting?

Well, I previously wrote on this blog about joining Kernel Magazine's 30 hour novel challenge, and after one month, my novella (together with 121 others) is finally up for reading!

You can read it by clicking HERE :) 

Raindrop is a fantasy story about a boy who sees a face in a raindrop. Did that get you interested? Go read what happens after that! 

Hopefully, within the next week, Kernel Magazine would put up the link for readers to vote for the best novels. The winner, may or may not, be published by Harper Collins. Sounds like an awesome opportunity eh?

Hence, I only decided to publish the post on my writer's blog when the voting is up. But before that happens, why not read my novel and let me know what you think! 

I do not know if I would be published, or if I even stand a chance among the other novels, but whatever happens, I believe there's a perfect timing for everything. Just like in my novel, Raindrops, there's always a perfect timing... even for rain :)

I Was 100% Sure Of Failure

Today, I went for my driving exam. It was a long day of waiting, occasional pulse racing, and the inability to write eligible. 

After passing my circuit exam, and getting scolded for driving out of route, I waited a long time for my road exam. When my turn finally came, my nerves got the best of me. 

Throughout the day, I was asking God to help me. To keep me calm and to help me pass, but somehow keeping calm was not an order that my brain had sent out to my body. So, when I was finally on the road I almost hit a parked police car. The driving inspector even grabbed my steering wheel, and lectured something inaudible to my clouded mind. 

I know... I know... I know... you need not say it. 

At the roundabout, the driving inspector told me to turn back (by then, I was certain I was going to fail!). But because I heard him too late, I continued down the route. He had no choice but to sit through the entire ordeal, because the mistakes did not stop there. On every junction, he kept telling me to go but I was always too slow because of fear. You see, the car I was driving then had an RPM of 1, but the car I learned on had an RPM of 2. The car would not freaking move the way I wanted it too (nor fast enough), and it was so easy to panic.

But after I got through all the junctions and hit the final stretch, I was forced to stop behind a car with my gear at 3. The inspector told me to lower the gears, and my car was not moving for a while because I had to change gears. And just like in every worst case scenario, there was a short pile up behind me. 

Yea, you would fail me too if you were my driving inspector, I'm sure. Those people in the cars piled up behind me would have thought the same too.

Throughout the entire journey, which was probably around 10 minutes, I knew I was going to fail. I was 100%  sure, that I was prepared to retake the test on another day. But even with that in mind, I asked God to do a miracle. Because ONLY a miracle would have got me out of the car with relief.

Little did I expect, when I finally returned to my starting point, the inspector mumbled something as one would when they are about to give you a chance, AND he passed me! 

Now that is a miracle! A least expected one!

Even I wouldn't pass myself and he did! You have no idea how happy I was when my hand struggled to sign the grading paper. 

There is no doubt that me passing this exam was God's work. If you are my friend, you wouldn't want me to drive you just yet, but you should be convinced that God had my back.

I can't thank God enough, and all I can do is give him a visualized hug over and over again. I still find it hard to believe that I passed, and now I'm more convinced that God is never short of miracles.

This incident is another show of God's faithfulness, love, and support for me. I'm so glad I have him in my life :) 

Thank you God! You are my hero!   

The 30-hour Novel Challenge

Kernel Mag recently threw a challenge I could not resist. The challenge was to write a novel over the weekend of 26th and 27th Jan in 30 hours.

Sounds crazy? Well, it kinda is.

I took this opportunity to write an idea I had while waiting for a bus. It was raining heavily and I just finished reading a book from A Song of Ice and Fire series. Having nothing to do, while the bus home took forever to arrive at the central station, I began to let my imagination run. After it went all over the place, I developed a story called 'Raindrops'.

I knew I was not going to write this story anytime soon because... well... I had my second novel to finish (which I managed to complete on the 25th of Jan, within 20 days). 

So, when I saw this challenge, I decided to go for it. This was my chance to write Raindrops, and I did.

Raindrops was written in 23 hours, and has 20,462 words. It came about with little sleep, backaches, sore eyes, and aching wrists. And it was a novella that really pushed me to the limits.

I have to thank Kernal Mag for having such a crazy idea. This was a test of skill, perseverance, and passion.

There was a total of 122 submissions out of the 367 registered participants. And I was one of them! Hmm... I might have been the first to submit, or maybe the first few. 

Anyways, the winner and a few others will/might be published by Harper Collins. And as an author, this might be my big break! But before that ever happens, there will be a public voting process, and I would definitely need all my subscribers to help me out :)

When the voting starts, I will publish a post on my writer's blog, so be sure to visit that blog out! My written works are all there, and if you're some random blogger who loves stories, please do pay it a visit.

Personally, I do hope that there's another challenge like this some time soon. I will be joining the Scholastic Book Award Asia this year, but that competition ends in October, so before that, I actually can join another one.

As a writer, I would encourage other writers to put their skills out for the test. Win or lose, it does not matter. A writer must seize every opportunity to grow, and what better way than through competitions.

This 30-hour novel challenge has really taught me a lot, and I hope that it will be a stepping stone for me to become better!

So, the next time you come across something as crazy as such, tell yourself your passion is crazier. With that mindset, you'll always see yourself growing :)

To Forgive or Not To Forgive

Today, I have asked myself this question too many times to count.

I struggled with the idea of forgiving someone who hurt me, as I thought they did not deserve my forgiveness until they apologized. But then I realized, I MUST forgive.

When someone hurts you, its like they have driven a stake into your chest. To forgive them you have to pull it out; leaving the stake in would only bleed you to death. But pulling it out would be extremely painful.

Today, someone drove a stake into my chest. I know this someone well, and I have been hoping this person would back me up in my dreams even though it may seem rather far fetched. But today, this person told me I have no talent and skill, and I do not write well. Ouch*

This person actually said that I'm not a good writer, when the people I do not know actually told me I have talent and skill. These strangers I call my readers (1,100 of them, base on my writer's blog) have faith in my writing skills. BUT this person, this person I trusted, does not think the same.

Can you imagine how sharp and thick that stake was?

I was angry and hurt. I wanted to hate this person because of what this person said. Sure, their statement is rather invalid as this person has not read any of my recent works. This person read my first novel, which I wrote 2 years ago, and that was it. Do you know that one can progress a lot in 2 years? I have asked this person to read my latest stories, but this person refused. So clearly, this person has no right to judge.

But this does not make it easier to forgive. In fact, it makes it harder.

So, being that I really wanted to pull the stake out of my chest, I asked God to help. And he reminded me of something.

When Christ was on the cross, he told God to forgive those who hurt him because they did not know what they were doing. Similarly, I decided to follow after Christ and forgive this person for this person did not know what they were saying.

If Christ could forgive those who whipped him, crowned him with thorns, drove nails into his palms, and most of all, called him names and did not believe in him, THEN I should be able to do the same to the person who intentionally or unintentionally decided to be mean for that split second.

I'll have to always remember that if God can forgive so much, I should be able to forgive too!

Anyways, the troubling day is about to end, and the horrid feeling in my soul has been choking my writing abilities, but now that I have decided to forgive, I think I can write better.