Swooned... Again

Have I blogged about him? Nope, I haven’t.

I’ve fangirl-ed a lot growing up. I used to adore Jesse McCartney, talk day and night about Tom Felton, and swoon over Raymond Lam. I’ve had celebrity crushes just like every other girl out there, but those days should be behind me. After all, I’m an adult now… I shouldn’t have celebrity crushes, it’s such a high school thing to do. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help it.

After Raymond Lam disappeared from the TVB scene, I had no one else to fangirl over. And I was happy, because I didn’t have to waste time dreaming of the day I would actually meet him. But then I stumbled upon a Korean drama called Emergency Couple and by the end of it… I knew I was done for.

All his pictures look so freaking good,
I struggled picking the best.

Choi Jin-Hyuk has stolen my heart. Raymond Lam gave it back and now Jin-Hyuk Ssi has taken it. Give it back to me, you ultra hot man!

It’s not his fault, really. It’s mine. I have no idea why, but I smile every time I see him in a drama. It’s like… I’m watching a boy I have a crush on in high school in a stalker-ish kind of a way. It’s scary! What am I becoming?

This is pretty much a confession that I have a high school celebrity crush on Choi Jin-Hyuk. I’ve watched all his dramas, except for My Daughter The Flower because I could not find one with English subs, Gu Family Book (which technically I did watch it, but only the episodes he was in. I know, it’s weird) and I Need Romance. I’m now watching Fated To Love You and I adore that drama so much. He looks so fine in it, and the story is rather humorous.

If I ever see him one day, I don’t know how I would react. I won’t scream, cause I’m not that kind of a fangirl, but I would surely turn red. Saying this, I wish I did not have a celebrity crush on him. Can’t he just be a favourite like Leo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp? Nope, apparently not at this moment.

Honestly, I wish I am more ‘adult’ about this. I hope this blows over soon… which probably will once he goes off to serve in the military. That’s both a good news and a bad news for me.

Survival Plan vs God's Plan

The past weekend was a ‘questionable’ one. It was a weekend where I reflected where I am in life, the small changes that I’m facing (losing a stable freelance job), and the question of how to move forward. It was also a weekend where my mum advised that I should not stay in the same company for too long and find a better place to go to, which is what everyone should do anyway. But while thinking it through, I became a little afraid, unsure, and muddled.

So, I decided to sit down and have a talk with God.

The conversation started with me saying “I don’t know” so many times, because I didn’t know if moving on is a good idea in terms of where I want to go in life. I was worried I would have to give up my dream along the way, and I didn’t know what to do. It all started with a bunch of ‘I don’t knows’ but the conversation ended with clarity.

Funny, how a conversation with God can really bring you peace and clarity. I didn’t know how long I was talking to Him, but I knew I slept rather late last night. AND I slept with a smile. He realigned my path to His and now I know what to do. Here's what I know:

My day job is merely a survival plan. It is stagnant with no growth because survival plans, once established, do not require any more tinkering with. I should not be spending my time and my thoughts worrying about this survival plan because God has it covered. Should I move forward and find another job? God will take care of that. Should I try to get another freelancing job? God will take care of that. This survival plan should be left to God to handle, after all, He will provide for my needs.

The plan that I should be focused on is God’s plan… the one where I continue to write for him. Writing novels, short stories, and running my blog are part of God’s plan. Yes, God’s plan is unpredictable and I have no control over what happens, but it is God’s plan. It may be odd to some that I have decided to focus my energy and time on God’s plan where the journey is uncertain, but it is what I am supposed to do.

The only reason why I have the ability to write is because God gave me that ability. Even if I don’t meet success immediately, I will trust that God knows best. So if anyone asks why I write fiction and keep my blog going, my answer is simple, “I'm writing for God.”

At the end of the day, I want to store up treasures in heaven. My survival plan is merely a plan to store up treasures on earth that will cease to exist once I die. The treasures in heaven however, will last forever. The day I meet God, I want Him to say, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” because that will mean I lived a life to the fullest of its purpose.

The Cheesiness Is Making Me Smile

You know that scene in a movie or TV show where the guy would say something so cheesy and sweet that you as a viewer end up smiling?

Yea.. I've hit the romance part of my first novel and I'm smiling. I don't know why, but the cheesy lines I've made my protagonist say somehow created such a response from me.

I have never read a romance novel, unless you consider YA love triangles as romance novels, so I'm not sure how people usually respond to such scenes. Maybe it's just me...

This post is too short to be a blog post, but I'm publishing it anyway.

A 2nd Edition

I recently went back to my first novel with a plan to release a second edition. The idea of doing a second edition is to rebrand the book under a collection. Hence, I’ll be doing a re-launch of the second edition around the same time I release my second novel (which will be in the same collection as well).

I’m far from done with the second edition, but I’m pretty sure I can get it done in time. The only question I constantly ask myself is, how much should I change?

The change the book needs is not in the plot, as I don’t intend to rewrite the whole story, but in the sentence structure. Just going through the first chapter had me changing a few sentences to improve the flow and the description.

Let’s just say, I wasn’t a very good writer back then. Some sentences were acceptable and those I do not touch, but some ended abruptly and had a very rough flow. Being able to spot all those now could only mean one thing; I’ve improved.

It’s no surprise that I’ve improved, but it’s quite a surprise that my first novel wasn’t very well written. Back then, I thought it was pretty good… or at least, I told myself it was. After all, you got to believe in yourself, right? For a first novel with no editor, a lot of people said it was a good effort… but looking at it now, I know it can be much better.

I guess it is now time to push out a good second edition. It will not be the best of my works for sure, as I can’t rewrite all the chapters, but it will be much better than before. Hopefully, when it comes out together with my second novel, more people will give it a chance. And I hope YOU will be one of them :)

To Honk Or Not To Honk?

First, let me just say I hate to drive… when there are people in my car. Why? Because I’m still on probation and mature drivers have a tendency to judge probationary drivers whether silently or verbally. Hence, I hate to drive with passengers… cause I know they are judging me. Admit it, you judge P drivers too. Heck, I judge my bro who is a P driver like me. Haha!

Anyway, that is not the topic of this post. This post is about honking! Yes, honking, the thing a lot of people enjoy doing. But before I begin, let me just say that this is all my personal opinion. I’m not saying I’m right and you’re wrong, this is simply PERSONAL. Please keep that in mind before you read on :)

So... as a driver, I don’t honk unnecessarily. I honk only to alert someone of danger and to kindly notify a distracted driver. I don’t honk because I’m angry at how someone cut in my lane or honk to embarrass another driver for making a silly mistake. I don’t really see the point of doing that.

For example, last Saturday I was driving my friends back from a late night dinner. On the way back, a car shot out from a vertical lane crossing mine. I had to slow down tremendously to avoid a collision. When that happened, the people in my car erupted with a, “Honk him!” At the sound of the unison, I did not honk. Why? Because I didn’t see the point. The danger was far from over and honking him then would simply be an act of anger or to let everyone else know that that driver made a mistake. I SHOULD have honked while pressing on my breaks, but there was no point in honking after it. Anyway, my car still sounded a honk because my friend reached over and pressed it.

To some, you might think I’m a docile driver who is too timid to blare the honk. For me, not honking and forgiving someone puts me at peace. I was not angry, I was not annoyed, I was relaxed. Honking might have changed my mood and made me more hostile afterwards, so I’m glad I did not do it.

I think the reason why I can be calm on days like those is because my prayer works. Every time I enter the car I say a simple prayer of asking God to teach me to be a better driver in skill and character. Though I’m not the kind hearted and patient driver every single day, but the prayer helps on situations like last Saturday. I am not the best driver out there, but at least I know God is teaching me to be one… especially in character.

So, if you wonder why I don’t honk, this is the reason. It so happens my mother and I think the same way, and my father and brother think the opposite. I guess we all have our own reasons of honking. Mine is just the uncommon one.