I feel like Peter sometimes. You know, the guy who said he would never betray Christ but still did?
Now, why do I feel that way?
Well, it is not that I am forced to tell the world I believe in God, but I feel this way because of my relationship with God.
Often times, people think Christianity is like every other religion. You do good, you do not sin, and you go to heaven. Well, truth be told, that is a wrong perception.
Christianity is not a religion but a relationship. You might have heard of this statement before, but you might not fully understand it. To grasps the idea is simple. Just think of God as your friend, father, counsellor and everything you want Him to be. THAT requires a relationship.
I believe I have a pretty good relationship with God. Sure, I mess up sometimes, but that does not change our relationship. Ever since I was a kid (having grown up in a Christian family) I always saw God as a friend. When I was in high school, I saw him as a father. Today, I see him as a counsellor, my muse, my father and best friend.
Given that relationship, I feel bad sometimes choosing not to mention Him. When I face situations where it requires me to say that God is my friend to strangers, I hesitate. It takes a few seconds to question if I should do it or not, even though most of the time I eventually do.
This scenario is similar to going to a party with your best friend and then hesitating to admit that that person is your best friend to a stranger. It’s strange isn’t it?
I guess the hesitation comes with the fact that many people these days don’t believe in God. Worst still, some judge you just because you do! They call you stupid, narrow-minded, delusional and weak. Nobody likes to be called that.
Living in a world as such, I have to constantly remind myself that it does not matter what others think of me, but what God thinks of me. After all, He is my truest friend and strangers would remain strangers.
It is definitely easier said than done, but I'm learning to live with that faith. At the end of the day, this would only make my relationship with God better.