Friday, February 7, 2014

A Painful & Rather Gross Topic

I have had ulcers my whole life.

I know, this is not an appropriate topic to blog about and you’re probably going, ‘ewwww!’ but I have to because this round hurts so much I have to blog about it.

I do not know what makes me prone to ulcers, but every time I accidentally bite my inner cheeks, I get an ulcer. Most of them are bearable and I can live like a normal human being in their presence. The only problem is that they make my inner cheeks the surface of mars, making it even more prone to being bitten.

This time however, a random one pops up on the side of my tongue. It’s not a big one but it brushes against my teeth whenever I move my tongue. That makes it painful; a pain that shoots down my throat and leave my eyes wet once the pain is gone. So not wanting to inflict pain on myself, I don’t speak, eat, drink or even smile. I’ve muted myself.

When my boss talks to me, I force myself to say a few words. After that, I try not to cry.

When my stomach growls, I think of the horror of feeding myself and choose to starve rather than feel the pain.

When my lips become dry, I don’t drink water, I just dab water on it to avoid gulping.

When I think about exercising, I contemplate on not doing any cardio. Opening my mouth hurts and catching my breath would inflict more pain.

This kinda sucks… no, it really sucks. This is the worst I’ve ever experienced, and I doubt it was because I bit my tongue, because I don’t recall doing so! Why on earth is there an ulcer on my tongue trying to kill me?

All I can do now is pray it would heal and leave me alone. One can only take so much pain… especially one with a low threshold of pain like me.

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